Back when I went to UC Davis at the start of this decade, I worked at the campus box office with some crazy native Sacramentans, Yen and KT, which is how I ended up meeting Aaron Peckham. Aaron had just created a site called Urban Dictionary, a site that was filled with what we would now call user-generated content. And by “user” I mean “immature teenagers” We had a lot of fun submitting words to Urban Dictionary our second year of college. This was all before Wikipedia, Friendster, and Facebook, so it was new to us and a lot of fun to interact with others on the site.

Randomly and coincidentally, I ended up running into Aaron at Google a few years later and reconnecting. Urban Dictionary was (and still is) a big phenomenon and was even being turned into a book of selected entries. I think we can all obviously see the effects of my participation and early adoption in the huge success and fame of the site!

Anyways, I recently found out Aaron left Google so I messaged him about what he was up to now. A week later, I checked my mailbox and found a package from him containing the original book, Urban Dictionary: Fularious Street Slang Defined, and the follow-up, Mo’ Urban Dictionary: Ridonkulous Street Slang Defined! They were even signed! Thanks Aaron!

If you’re looking for a holiday gift this season, I highly recommend these books!

The Official Google Docs Blog had a post (Hot Tips: Create new docs, even faster) which contained the following links that you can drag to your browser’s bookmarks toolbar to easily create new files at docs.google.com:

New Document

New Spreadsheet

New Presentation

Since most of my Docs usage is at work and my work uses Google Apps (duh), I had to modify those links to point to my work account rather than my personal account. You can easily do this by opening up your bookmarks manager and editing the properties of each bookmark to point to the correct domain. For example, the link to create a new document would change from http://docs.google.com/?action=newdoc to http://docs.google.com/a/example.com/?action=newdoc where example.com is the domain you’re using with Apps

The /a/ in that URL is for Apps

Finally, since I like to use my keyboard as much as possible without having to constantly switch to my trackpad or mouse, I set up some keyboard shortcuts to point to those bookmarks. I use Camino, but this should be the same in Firefox and Safari: Open up your bookmarks manager, right click on one of the bookmarks and hit Bookmark Info:

In the Shortcut field, I put in s for spreadsheet. Now when I want to open a new spreadsheet, I just need to type s into my browsers location bar! You can use d for document, s for spreadsheet, and p for presentation. I use one set for my personal account and others for my work account (ie. w for Writely)

Using CMD-L to get to the location bar or CMD-T to open a new tab, I never have to use my mouse again to open a new file in Google Docs!

I received a free copy of the book at the talk, which I got signed after he was done, and recommend it to others - atheists or not. Well, you’ll probably like it more if you’re an atheist. I found the writing to be pretty interesting, but not always completely engaging. It ended taking me a month to finish the book because I couldn’t read more than a chapter at a time. Still, I agreed with most of his points and found his arguments to be sound. This is in sharp contrast to when I’ve seen or read his views on foreign policy, which I completely disagree with.

Also, I recommend reading the book with a condescending tone and a British accent in your head. Religious skewering is entertaining as it is, but even more so like this.

I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to go to that talk, but the title of the book and the following clip from Fox News’s Hannity & Colmes peaked my interest:

After the talk when I was getting my book signed, I let him know that this clip was one of my favorite YouTube videos of the year.

Are you still looking at that boring Kleenex tissue box? Don’t you need a pick-me-up when you’re wiping your nose? Ever wonder if a monkey could drive a car, and if so, what kind of fruit would be decorating that monkey’s car?

There is no way that this tissue box cover would not put a smile to your face. I got it in Mongkok, Hong Kong for like five bucks, but the entertainment it provides to me and anyone who visits my cubicle is priceless.

Expect a complementary category, Things I’ve Bought That I Hate, soon.

Yup, I “got back on the horse” as they say. Except in this case, the horse is a bike. Confused? I am!

After 19 years of eschewing biking in favor of walking and driving, I went to work on a Sunday to try my hand at riding a bike. When I was seven, I was riding my bike in the backyard when I fell into the swimming pool. Despite being in many situations where biking would be advantageous - schooling in Davis, walking between Google buildings, living in San Francisco - the horror of that incident prevented me from ever riding again. Until now!

Actually, everything after the pool incident is not true. I just never felt like riding a bike again, and after a certain age it was just embarrassing to say I didn’t know how to ride a bike anymore. But after a minute and half on a Google beach cruiser on Sunday, I was back at it like a pro. A wobbly, uncertain pro.

I want to get to the point where I can bike to work, between buildings, for “leisure”, and other such green activities. But riding around in an empty parking lot is still a bit away from dodging traffic, crossing intersections, and carrying a MacBook Pro on my bike. Soon, I shall get there.

But not everyone has been so supportive.

Roshan: no one can really focus on congratulating me on my accomplishment of riding a bike this weekend. they seem to only be focused on the fact that i didnt know how to ride a bike until now

Naj:HAHAHA
well i mean
it’s worse than yune not knowing how to swim

Roshan: its not worse!
take it back!

Naj: i have to be true to myself
it’s definitely worse
it’s not like yune could swim from building ot building
or swim to work from home

Sharing for the bit on Indian men holding pinkies

I haven’t had too many full body massages before, only ones at Google Mountain View and in Thailand, all by women. But at Latitudes Hyderabad, men get men masseurs and women get women masseuses. I was not looking forward to this at all, but I trusted that since the other expats were comfortable with it I would be too.

The facilities are really nice and clean, like a normal day spa. They started out by giving me a bundle of things to change in to and leading me to a dressing room. The bundle included a large cloth robe, paper slippers that you normally find in Asian hotel rooms, and a plastic bag that contained with what can best be called a paper undergarment.

It was on this last point that I stopped in the dressing room and was bewildered. I opened up the plastic bag and removed this horrific undergarment with a big “WTF?” look on my face. They wanted me to wear this? and only this?? The best description I can come up with is that it is two triangles connected by a very thin string that goes around the waist. Also, the two triangles are the same size in front and back. I can’t imagine why this was necessary or how it would even make one feel that they were being, ahem, contained, but after putting it on I immediately took it off and said “hell naw!” I know the only person who would see me in it was the (male) masseur and me, but that was enough. I put my boxers back on, wrapped myself in the robe, and shuddered that such a thing existed.

The dude walked me to the massage room, which looked like a normal massage room and had a bed, chair, counter, etc. He washed my feet in rose petals and water and asked me to disrobe and get on the bed. Now, when I get my massage at Google MTV, the massage therapist said I could leave my boxers on or take them off, and she left the room as I got on the bed and put a sheet over myself. But this guy just stood there as I took off my robe.

Dude: “Sir, you did not wear the undergarment?”
Me: (Thinking) Oh shit, is that a problem. Be cool…
Me: “No, I prefer this”
Dude: “Ooooook sir, noooo problem”
Me: (Thinking) haha, I should have said I am wearing it underneath my boxers

So I get on the bed and he starts to massage my back. But it was really awkward in there because there was no music - not even Enya! - so it was really just me and him. And he kept talking to me, like “where are you from?” and “where do you work?” Now, I have a feeling that in India when you’re a non-Indian expat, they don’t pepper with you as many questions. But if you’re ethnically Indian, they want to know all about you. When you have barely any clothes on and just want to relax, it’s not fun.

Finally he turns on that new age massage music so I didn’t have to listen to him talk and he lights some lavender oil lamp that smells nice. He moved to my legs and massaged the back of my thighs. You know how when someone squeezes your thigh it is really ticklish but also painful. This was like that times 10. I turned back to say that it really hurt, and he was like “Yes sir, it because you sit at a computer all day and it is tense” and keeps going. Normally, if you tell a massage therapist that something does not feel good, they stop! He just goes at it harder!

I protested again but he kept going because of course he knew better than me about my own body and what I like. And oddly in India, when you get a massage, they go up the leg enough for it to be uncomfortable. Aaaalmost like the episode of Friends where Chandler goes to Joey’s tailor to get measured. I’m just saying that if this guy had gone another inch, I was gonna punch him in the face.

Later I turned over so he could get my arms, and the dude is just staring at me the whole time. Every time I open my eyes, there is his big face staring at me. So of course I kept my eyes closed.

After he finished up my body, he asked if I wanted a face massage and I was like “no no nope.” So he just finished with a scalp massage that was the worst thing ever. He kept doing the thing they hit your head, and I have no idea how this is supposed to feel good other than that it felt good when he stopped hitting me.

Afterwards, he lead me to the sauna room. It was over 100F outside and a sauna really is the best thing to sit in… if you want to pass out. I got lightheaded after two minutes and made my way to the shower.

Since they oftentimes give you comment cards in India at restaurants and hotels, when he gave me mine as I was waiting for my friends, I just wrote “Let us have a choice between a man and a woman. Please do not talk during the massage.” I wonder how that’s gonna go…

Obviously I haven’t been back, but I am contemplating it just to get a picture of the undergarment (not on me!) so I can prove to you that it exists.

Massages by men FTL!

From India Golden Triangle 2008

Here’s what we did: Friday after work, we got dropped off at the Hyderabad airport (1 hour drive), waited for our flight (delayed by 45 minutes), landed in Delhi, slept in Gurgaon, woke up at 5am for a drive to Jaipur (~4-5 hours), spent the day in Jaipur seeing the sites, drove to Agra (~5 hours), overnight in Agra, woke up at 5am to get to the Taj Mahal, first ones in and beat the crowds and heat, let Agra by the afternoon, saw the sites in Delhi as the sun set, slept in Gurgaon, and woke up at 4am Monday to catch a 5:30am flight to Hyderabad to get back to work.

Phew. Definitely not easy! The trip started at Hyderabad airport, which is the nicest airport I’ve seen in India. I didn’t mind the flight delay so much because it allowed me to get an iced drink at Coffee Bean. Yes, the same Coffee Bean from LA! After having terrible coffee options in Hyderabad, Coffee Bean is exactly what I needed to start a trip off right.

Driving through Gurgaon on Friday night was a trip. TGI Fridays, Ruby Tuesdays, shopping malls… Definitely not for tourists but probably a comfortable place for an expat to live for three months The guest houses were really nice, but we arrived so late that I didn’t really get a chance to walk around and check anything out.

I caught 3 hours of sleep and woke up for the drive to Jaipur. Our driver was a really great guy named Koogi who had a Toyota SUV, so I was glad it was going to be a comfortable ride. After a quick stop at McDonalds for breakfast, I spent the long drive in the back of the car checking NBA scores on my iPhone and going through my Google Reader (I can’t sleep in cars).

From India Golden Triangle 2008

We arrived before noon in Jaipur, but unfortunately the elephant rides had already ended. We spent the next few hours at the Amber Fort, Jal Mahal, and Jantar Mantar.

From India Golden Triangle 2008

Jal Mahal is in the center of a lake

From India Golden Triangle 2008

In terms of siteseeing, Jantar Mantar is my favorite part of Jaipur. It is a collection of astronomical instruments, and the size and accuracy of them is really a site to see. One of the sundials was accurate to within 2 seconds!

From India Golden Triangle 2008

The heat in mid-April was brutal but these sites were well worth worth putting up with the heat for. However, the thing that I remember the most from Jaipur is the food. I had a non-veg Rajasthani thali that had some of the best chicken I’ve ever eaten!

From India Golden Triangle 2008

Up next, parts 2 and 3 in Agra and Delhi