I Know That A–hole Knows What A Vegan Is
Guest Lecture Series: I Know That A–hole Knows What A Vegan Is
And, most all, I know that asshole [Roger Clemens] knows what a vegan is.
You may have found it a bit silly when Congressman Bruce Braley asked Clemens if he had ever been a vegetarian or a vegan. But I think Clemens’ answer gives us a perfect look at his complete and utter disingenuousness.
“I don’t know what that is. I’m sorry.”
Oh, really? No clue what a vegan is? This from a gentleman who played in New York City FOR SIX YEARS? He’s never even heard the term? I’m sorry, but that is bullshit. The man is 45 years old and has never seen that term used on a restaurant menu, or on a TV show, or in a magazine, or on the news, or in a movie, or at AT&T Park in San Francisco, for God’s sake? No teammate ever joked about vegans with him?
My ass.
Look, I’ll give you that veganism is a fairly new phenomenon. But it’s not some underground movement, like mopery. Vegans have been out there prominently since the 90’s. We even have them in Congress. Barney Frank gave me a taste of stir fried tempeh the other day. I thought it tasted like a particularly nutty bowel movement, but I lied and told him it was delicious. There are vegan actors, too. Familiar with little actress known as ALICIA SILVERSTONE, Mr. Clemens?
Your story is unraveling faster than a vegan family rehearsal dinner at Ruth’s Chris.
